On The Ex

Perfect is nice, but it doesn’t have to be that; reasonable and decent would do too. And it’s not until you find those that you realise how crap everything was before.

So Willie and I caught a glimpse of my ex yesterday. Didn’t say hello of course, wouldn’t want my head to spontaneously combust.

It’s in my nature to hold grudges. I’ll admit that some may be petty, but with him I feel that it’s fully justified.

Willie once asked me why of earth I put up with him for so long – that certainly stumped me. I replied with a bunch of bullshit because I hate conceding that I was stupid. I don’t know what I was thinking then, and looking back I feel disgraced and humiliated.

I was never an angel though and did a lot of things behind his back. I’m comfortable with all I did away from him, even though it shows a dent in my morals. Sometimes I’d like to tell him, in the most scathing and condescending voice I could muster. As satisfying as it would be though, I’d miss being the better person.

He was with a girl when we saw him. I just hope that he’s taken a refresher in anger management and been injected with some basic respect for other people.

13 CommentsJump to comments form

  • Vix said,
    August 20, 2005 9 years, 34 days ago

    We can only learn and grow from our mistakes and past experiences. Without your ex, maybe you wouldn’t be who you are today – for better or worse, everyone we share our lives with shape who we become.Din’t knock yourself up about it. You’ve moved on and you’re happier for it . . . and that’s a good thing, right? XPV xx

  • Modi said,
    August 21, 2005 9 years, 34 days ago

    Isn’t it the best feeling in the world, seeing an old ex, and thinking, “hah! You treated me like absolute poop, but now I’m happier than ever, and you are ALL ALONE!”I’m a big grudge holder, too. I think all of my ex’s want to use me as a dartboard.

  • Lea said,
    August 22, 2005 9 years, 34 days ago

    I agree with Vix. After all, it’s in the past. We all do silly things when we’re young and ignorant. Our past mistakes can only enhance what we are and what we have now. L x

  • Vicki said,
    August 22, 2005 9 years, 34 days ago

    You’ve got every right to hold a grudge. Someone who knows that you are vulnerable and uses that to their own advantage, not only gains a hold over you that is hard to break, but places themselves at the very bottom of the emotional food chain.Well done to you for breaking that hold, and for the restraint you showed the other day in not accidentally pushing him in front of a bus…You know you’re a good person, and that’s all that matters P.S. I’ve been replaced!

  • Becca said,
    August 22, 2005 9 years, 34 days ago

    Vix: Haha, don’t worry, you’re still my one and only cookie! (Well, the only one that I have no plans of ingesting. Lucky you!)Btw, if you haven’t read the private post, I’ll be in Melbourne Nov 2006. Willie too .He wants you to take him to see weird bands and I want to meet Lola.

  • Vixx said,
    August 23, 2005 9 years, 34 days ago

    Aw, sorry. I’ve registered as Vixx with a double-ex now so that I’m a) not confusing people and b) making Vix feeling usurped . . . V xx

  • Jennifer said,
    August 24, 2005 9 years, 34 days ago

    I think Vix said it best. I can relate on wanting to be the better person, though. There are some things I did that I’m now ashamed of, but I will never bring them to light, because I’d rather remain as the better person. Heh.

  • char said,
    August 24, 2005 9 years, 34 days ago

    I was with my ex for 10 years and I wasted alot of time with him but everything I went through was a growing experience in love and understanding for me and my relationship with Ryan is as good as it is because of all that he put me through!

  • Lora said,
    August 26, 2005 9 years, 34 days ago

    I always find that a relaitonship sometimes change our behavior.. in a good way.. in terms a way to improve each other better. My boyfriend makes me realize some of my bad personality… for example, I do not know how to apologize … I am a stubborn person.. now.. I always try my best to convince myself to be understanding.. of course.. learn to say sorry… that’s the hard part…:)

  • September 19, 2005 9 years, 34 days ago

    Ah, but sometimes we find that we bring out the bad in other people. I don’t know why, but it’s true. I have exes whose worst side somehow always came to the fore when they were with me, especially alone with me. I’m a conceptual grudge-holder, I guess. I don’t think of any of my exes, really, but when they pop up from out of nowhere, all that disdain was all ready to be called up from down in the depths, so it seems. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this, either, unless it starts affecting your life when the ex is nowhere to be seen. I do agree with char, though, that after you go through certain sorts of awfulness, you really do know how to make relationships work betrter. I wasted six years on one ex, and I am certain things I learned in that time underpin my much happier, healthy, and grown-up present relationship.

  • Sean said,
    October 13, 2005 9 years, 34 days ago

    I am currently going through a breakup myself. The actual break up happened a month ago, but my ex and I still talk and spend time together. My question is..what does it mean when she tells me how great I am, and that she thinks she made a mistake dumping me? I know she’s working out her feelings, but doesn’t she know how hard it is for me to hear that sort of thing from her?

  • fritx said,
    January 13, 2006 9 years, 34 days ago

    I am currently going through a breakup myself. The actual break up happened a month ago, but my ex and I still talk and spend time together. My question is..what does it mean when she tells me how great I am, and that she thinks she made a mistake dumping me? I know she’s working out her feelings, but doesn’t she know how hard it is for me to hear that sort of thing from her?

  • June 12, 2006 9 years, 34 days ago

    beautiful online information center. greatest work… thanks

Leave a Comment