While looking at mobile phones…
Will: What about that one?
Me: Nah. The screen’s excessively large.
Will: Well that’s because it’s for taking photos. It can take up to, like, 300000 megapixels.
Me: *pauses* You have five seconds to rethink that.
Archive for the ‘Notable Quotes’ Category
While looking at mobile phones…
Vicki and I were having a text conversation while Willie and I were chowing down a late lunch. She said that she’d had a Caesar salad for lunch, and Willie and I agreed that a salad did not constitute a meal. Vicki informed us that it had large pieces of chicken in it, but that didn’t change Willie’s opinion. Her response? “Willie’s a boy – they’re not full ’til they’ve eaten a whole cow.”
My lovely friend Vicki visited Hong Kong in January. She and I were sitting outside Starbucks one day and I noticed one of the workers kept looking over. Soon enough he came over for a chat. First he said something in Cantonese, and I replied that I don’t actually know Chinese. He then made small talk about if we’re from Hong Kong, are we staying nearby, etc. Then, he leaned down, and whispered in my ear…
1. What did the worker whisper in Becca’s ear?
a) Can I have your phone number?
b) Do you have a boyfriend?
c) Are you a lesbian?
If you guessed C, you got it! I skillfully resisted the urge to burst out laughing and replied that no, I am in fact not a lesbian. He went off with a small smile on his face. I told Vicki what he had asked and then the laughter was had. Later he came out again still wearing a stupid smile and with free coffee for both of us. We drank the coffee and ran away before his shift finished and he tried ‘talking’ with us again.
So yes. That now ranks as the worst pick-up line I have ever heard. Some guys had a different take on it though – apparently if you’re going to give a girl free coffee it’s worth making sure she’s not a lesbian first.
I should really learn the phonetic alphabet. I was trying to communicate an e-mail address through a long distance phone call earlier, and things went something like this:
Me: “Not D, G… G for God.”
Me: “That didn’t help. G for Goat?”
In other news, I’m up to my ears in Java (assignment due in 9 days) and it’s strangely enjoyable. Gets the left side of my brain high, it does.
I like to mess with words by adding random suffixes that may or may not make sense. Recently though, I’ve recently learned to take more care when doing so.
I was strolling along with Vicki the other day when I decided to express my need to visit the washroom. It came out something along the lines of, “I need to pee-ness.”
My mouth immediately clamped shut and I hoped that the silence would trick her into thinking I had never spoken in the first place. Unfortunately she did notice, and I shall now assume my rightful place as the butt-ness of bathroom jokes.
From the latest issue of Time:
16 Months: Estimated decrease in Hong Konger’s life expectancy due to air pollution, according to Paris’ Center for Energy Strudies; the same as smoking eight cigarettes a day.
Ouch. It’s all the more obvious now that it’s winter, nothing to wash away the smog.
As many of you may already know, my first language is English, whereas its Cantonese for most others in Hong Kong. This often supplies me with my daily dosage of giggles.
Now I Know My ABC’s
Earlier today Willie and I were taking a stroll nearby my apartment. Being a normal Saturday afternoon, there were many families out and about enjoying the weather. We happened to pass by a mother and her son, and caught this little tidbit.
The mother was teaching her son how to spell various English words. We walked by right as she declared, “Sit. C-I-T, sit.”
Don’t Give Me Crap
Note: My stepdad speaks English aas a second language, and Cantonese as his first.
My mother has a strange animosity towards bread crust. Whenever presented with a slice or roll, she proceeds to tear out and eat the fluffy insides, and hand the crust to the nearest family member for them munch on.
Whenever I make some buns or loaves she likes to pig out on a few pieces, as few things are as pleasurable as freshly-baked bread. After slicing open a loaf one evening she grabbed a couple of slices and sat down on the couch with my stepdad, my little sister and me. As she picked her way through she’d occasionally reach over and hand my stepdad some crust.
We usually giggle at Mom when she does this, but we were all rather surprised when my stepdad remarked, “I always get the crap.” A bit of a rude thing to say in front of the little one. More crust was handed over and out popped the comment, “Ah, more crap.”
He looked over at Mom and I snickering, thought for a moment, then winced as he obviously mentally slapped himself. “Crust! I meant crust, not crap!”
To continue on from what I said in the last post about my mom forgetting how old I am, don’t worry, it’s not like we’re distant from each other. She just happens to be sweet, caring, and incredibly forgetful! We’ve agreed that it’s a good thing I’m honest, I could get away with so much otherwise. I’ve been paying her back HK$1000 (US$130) bit by bit, and each time I hand over some of it she looks surprised and asks why I’m giving it to her.
The past couple of days have been decent to me. I’m down to only one ciggie a day, and went for a whole 36 hours without a smoke. Before that I hadn’t gone longer than 24 hours for 3 or 4 years. I’ve also been trying to work out a bit more, don’t want to gain too much weight while quitting.
I’m pretty happy with how much money I’m saving by not buying ciggies. Willie and I walked all up and down Tung Choi Street (usually referred to by me as fish or turtle street) but I couldn’t find anything I wanted to buy besides from my basic turt supplies, so I took him to a nice lunch instead. Starting next month though I’ll begin to put away the money that I save. Some things I want to buy when I’ve got enough cash: a new filter for Dorothy, a heater for Waffle, Leonidas choccies for Mom and Willie (they are so good), and maybe a new top for myself.
Hah, yes the two turtle items are on top of the list. Oh, and not that many will be interested but Mom has given Dorothy a new name. We’ve always referred to her affectionately as Dobi (pronounced Doh-bee) but for some reason Mom’s been extending it recently and calling her Dobi Wan Kenobi all the time. (I came back with “Cobra Commander” as a new name for Waffle, after she remarked that he had a snake-like neck. Take away two cool points if you know who Cobra Commander is.)
Not much else to say right now, so I’ll leave you with a few things I found amusing from the latest Dilbert newsletter.
True Tales of Induhviduals
“I was sitting in the lunchroom with a coworker, and he noticed a “funny” pattern on one of his socks. He told me that his socks were the same color, but the pattern of one was not right. He just couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I let him ponder the situation for five minutes and then I informed him that he was wearing one sock inside out. He is our director of quality.”
“A little pain never hurt anyone.”
“My arms were knee-deep in mud.”
“The squeaky wheel is the one that makes the most noise.”