A brief ramble on life, learning and atheism

Have you ever met someone who you could swear was born wise? They seem to have it all figured out and somehow automatically know everything you’ve spent so much time trying to grasp. Unfortunately I have to admit I was born more foolish than not, but hopefully I’m growing out of it.

I’m not someone who’s opinions and beliefs never change. I thought I was, but I was wrong. I was raised without religion (by a non-pedantic definition) and at an early age I decided for myself that there are no gods or supernatural forces. Upon hearing of this so-called lack of belief, it’s not entirely uncommon for people to ask that if I don’t believe in God then what do I believe? For me to ask myself the same question isn’t entirely uncommon either, here’s how my answer’s going so far, for now.

A long time ago a friend told me that I’m like a stone in a river. In the grand scheme of things that may not be much, but to all the other pebbles around me I’m a pretty important part of life. It’s the stupidest analogy I’ve ever heard – believe it or not that was my improved version – but how I view the world nowadays is pretty close. Just less stupid.

My life is temporary. I can accept that. Accepting that your life is also temporary is hard part. There are people in this world whom I love immensely and whom I never want to lose. I don’t want you to go.

“I can’t change the world but maybe I can brighten yours for just a moment” is a great-fitting little summary. I make no secret of the fact that I used to suffer from depression. Before it was always, “if we’ll all be gone, then what’s the point anyway?” I wish I could reply to my past self that it really is worth it. Love, joy, wonder – they’re incredible, aren’t they? Life is not an experience to be so readily slighted. I know my past self would retort that if they weren’t here, they wouldn’t know what they’re missing out on and they’d get to avoid all the negative feelings as well. True, but you won’t get another chance to be alive. If life itself has a purpose other than to simply exist it eludes me, but that doesn’t mean that your own life need be meaningless. You have worth and beauty even if they’re hidden from you. What you make of them is your choice, but I hope you do make something of them; I will help you if I can.

(I know a few kind words are no cure for depression though, and had this conversation actually taken place my past self might just have bitch-slapped me – I had rage. Oh, and time machines would exist. Which would be pretty fun until someone went back and stepped on the goo that became life. Then time machines wouldn’t exist. Then we wouldn’t… oh nevermind.)

So I dig into life as I would a stretch of wet sand simply because I enjoy it. Freely distributing love, joy and knowledge and coming by them myself gives me great pleasure. The hedonism does eventually stop though and I do have moral values from which I decline to stray. (Or perhaps by following said morals I avert pain and increase everyone’s pleasure – mine, and mine again as a result of increasing yours – and thus satisfy my hedonistic tendencies. Hrm.)

Confucius say, “What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others” – I think the vast majority of us keep in line with that one. We’re not about to traffic humans, rob banks, or go around punching random passers-by. Given the brilliance of life, I don’t wish to taint yours. I can’t tell you why I’ve always had morals (unless you want me to make something up), but this adoration of life helps me to further appreciate and expand upon them.

Here’s something I’ve learned recently. Once upon a time while blog-surfing, I came across an entry where the author quoted from a book about Buddhism he’d been reading. While the exact quote escapes me, the gist of it was that when you find yourself affected by anger, to remember that it is their anger; you need not let it become yours.

What a beautiful thought. An incredibly beautiful thought, and such a gently powerful idea. It was promptly added to my moral code has been in practise ever since. Now I see all the times I responded to anger with outrage and resentment when instead dignity and forgiveness would have sufficed. If only I could find the blog again to say thank you!

I’m learning religious tolerance. Actually a better phrase would be that I have tolerance for religion but not yet understanding. If your beliefs give your life meaning and lead you to live justly and with virtue, then I am happy for you. I imagine knowing that there is something grander than the universe itself must be… it must be nice. As someone who’s never been religious and most likely never will be though, I won’t be so brash as to try and describe it further.

May I ask you something other than this question that’s currently in progress? If it’s not too personal, what do your beliefs (or lack thereof) mean to you? Or what do they feel like? (I also enjoy ambiguous questions because what people choose to tell interests me just as much as what they say about it.) I’m a curious person who needs to listen to others more often. Your thoughts would be appreciated.

115 CommentsJump to comments form

  • Robbie said,
    June 10, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I don’t know if anyone was born wise, you get that with ages, my friend told me awhile ago, that even the great genious Einstein barely made it trough elementary school with the maths and physics (hope I spelled it right).

    Accepting life beeing temporary is something what we all have to face, some know they have less time, I can’t imagine how hard that is.

    A few kind words can really make someones day, some are just more depressed and it’s really hard to help if their day is messed up.

    I believe in life itself, I have my ups and downs, and when I have my downs I ussualy try to relax, listening music helps. Feeling life itself is amazing, inspiring, exciting, the thought what will happen in the future (next 5 to 10 years), it’s all one big question – which we answer as time goes by.

    I don’t believe in any religion specifically, I just believe there is “something”, not sure what yet.

  • Lisa said,
    June 10, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Great post, Becca – and your joy for life and your passion for sharing really shines through in everything you do (ok – well everything that *I* see you do, and have explained that you’ve done.. you know).

    I, too, am an atheist. I wasn’t always. I was raised in a strict Catholic home then as I grew into a young adult, I left that faith to explore other faiths. In the end of my explorations – I was left with nothing, really. None of the religions fit and the faith in a supreme being didn’t fit me either and I spent more time pretending that I believed because that was the accepted stance – both within my family and within my immediate environment (friends, work, etc.)

    It took me a long time to grow into my atheism and feel comfortable with it enough to stop apologizing for it to everyone in my life.

    There is a quote I found once: “I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”

    I have been told “Without faith, there is no hope” – something I fully disagree with. I, like you, do have faith in my fellow humans and hope that as this world grows and matures, as a global society, we learn tolerance, acceptance, joy, happiness and a comfort – all of us living underneath the same sky.

    I do believe my morals come from my upbringing, which was based largely upon the Catholic religion – so I cannot say that religion did not have an affect on my life because it surely has. My set of moral values today are not based on it any longer, however – but, like you, it is based on the desire to be a good person and to be a good person the people who are in my life, no matter how long or how brief.

    Am I perfect? Of course not, but show me anyone who is )

    Religious tolerance is not something I’ve ever struggled with. As a matter of fact, I am glad that religion exists for those who have a strong need to have it in their lives – – it serves a purpose for them and it comforts them, and for that I am grateful they have that source of comfort and happiness.

    Sadly, though, I have not experienced very much tolerance for my lack of religion . . but it comes with the territory. Oh the arguments I had with my mother about it. If I am an atheist it must mean I worship the devil, and such. Of course it goes without saying that if I don’t believe in god.. I don’t believe in satan either – – but she’s not the most reasonable woman when it comes to such things )

    Thanks for sharing – I think you’re a beautiful person .. and if I had the chance to speak with the ‘old’ Becca today.. I’d let her know just how wonderful a lady she has become…and all the rage, angst, depression, etc shaped who she is today – so don’t fret about it. life’s too short. heart

  • Lisa said,
    June 10, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    wow that was long. lol

  • mk said,
    June 10, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    long entry but I commend aethist like you who choose to stand up and say that they don’t need to be religious but at the same time do not trash religion and challenge all those who believe them to a never ending philosophy game.

    To answer your question, I’m a Roman Catholic and my beliefs (specially with my jesuit education and liberal ideals) have shaped me to become what I am. Learning from the Jesuits I have learned the value of servant leadership and social awareness other wise non-existent if we weren’t a Jesuit run school.

  • Vish said,
    June 10, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Wonderful post. Makes me wish I wasn’t so much of a pessimist.
    I don’t believe in God, I think that man, like all other creatures, is on the earth to procreate and that’s about it. I don’t believe that there’s any “greater meaning” in life, at the end of it we die and get put 6 feet under and that’s that but we all have emotions and feelings which allow us to enjoy our relatively short time here. That being said, I appreciate and respect all aspects of any religion (except for maybe the part where they try to indoctrinate me because being an atheist is “the devil’s work” or something like that.)

    As for my lack of beliefs shaping my moral codes, I have an understanding of what’s right what’s wrong in my mind that others may not necessarily agree with, but it’s what I believe. I don’t find it hard to stay within the moral boundaries I set for myself probably because with age the rebel in me has died and been replaced with a content pacifist. tongue

    And now I’m positive that wisdom comes with age, because it certainly seems to be the case with you. smile On that note, I’d like to say that I hope you enjoyed your birthday. Take care!

  • Vixx said,
    June 10, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I’m an aethist. I grew up Christian, but found myself increasingly disbelieving in my early teens.

    The problem with no faith is that death always hits me incredibly hard. I take no comfort from thinking that I’ll see people again, or to think that they’ll protect me etc. – when someone’s gone, they’re gone, which is desperately awful. As such, I rarely go to funerals – I simply go to pieces. When my mother lost her mother she took it quite well, comforted by the fact she’d always be near her – whereas I just lost it.

    That said, I believe that no path is already written, that whatever we do is always for the best, and that as a collective, people can be absolutely incredible sometimes – both in good ways and bad.

    V xx

  • Jenny said,
    June 11, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I myself am atheist as well. I’ve been pushed by my family to pray and believe and to embrace god (whoever that is) but I don’t believe in stuff like that. It’s science for me and science can’t prove that aspect, therefore it doesn’t exist.

    Great post. Really made me think!

  • Geir said,
    June 11, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I’m a believer, and expect to be for the rest of the time I get to dispose on this flat, 6000 year old plate. wink
    Struggling for many years with the fear of being wrong, I looked myself in the eye and decided that if someone can convince me that my faith doesn’t hold, then I’ll drop it. None have convinced me yet, but my new credo after this revelation is: It’s not before I can face being proven wrong that I may be proven rigth. Get it?

  • Nina said,
    June 11, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I am an atheist as well. I grew up under a strict, repressive belief system. I put my “faith” in myself and only a few close people around me; I’m a happier person living without the fear of an oppressive “higher power” over me or the guilt of sin religion incurs.

  • Sophie said,
    June 12, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    We’re here because we’re here because we’re here …! I count myself lucky as all hell to have got born at all (think of all the people who had to get together just to make you). Meaning in life is what you make it – but the one thing you never have to worry about is not having been born, because you’ve already got your life and you can wake up and feel lucky every morning – if you want to … heart

  • James said,
    June 12, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hi Beccary,

    just dropped by to check out updates to your wonderful theme when I found you asking about matters of religion. Let me share a bit. I’m Chinese Malaysian. Parents were not really religious but we did all the Chinese practise stuff without really knowing their meaning. We did it because grandma did it & so forth.

    So I grew up a free thinker, morally good, (i thought i was really good person) i.e. believing there is a God. Why? When I look at all the beautiful flowers and animals & things around, I believe there must be a creator. The universe cannot happen at random. (The laws of thermodynamics also prove that things left alone, Will degrade over time.)

    Anyway, I met some friends who are Christian abt 10 years ago & I did a study with them. Several years after that, I have an encounter with Jesus Christ. Now, I’m a Christian. Over time, i found that if a person really wanted to find the true and living God, he or she will find God, or rather God will reveal Himself to you.

    If you want to find out more about Christianity, without any obligation, no pressure, I recomend you consider going through an Alpha course. You can find more at alpha.org. It also available in Hong Kong.

    About religious tolerance, in any religion, there are people who are a bit extreme, Christians included. The bible teaches Christians to love their enemies, including people who persecute Christians for their faith. It is easy to love your enemies? Definately not. But that is the call of God for Christians. We are supppose to love all people regardless of their belief or religion, in the book of Matthew book 5 verse 44. Like I said it is not easy, but the grace of God do allow Christian to be able to do so. Not everyone all the time.

    Talking about loving people around us, death according to Christianity is not the end. God never intended people to die. That is why when someone we love dies, we feel all sorts of emotions, like anger, unfairness. More so if that person is a good person. But when Jesus died and rose again, He conqured death. Christians belief that when we die physically, we will rise again like Christ.

    Anyway, I encourage you & all who wrote here to seek the truth about God. Truth is truth. What a person belief does not make it the truth. For example, whether I sincere belief there is gravity or no gravity, gravity is there. If I walk out of a building sincere believing there is not gravity, I’ll still fall and die. Christianity is not a blind belief. It is supported by facts. Like i said, take time to seek the truth. When you find the truth, the truth will set you free.


    btw, when you visit the alpha.org site, click on the right viral. A funny but true look at life. God Bless.

  • Kuts said,
    June 13, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hey Becca,

    That was a great post James.

    I, like James, am a Christian. Why? Because when I looked at who Jesus was, I found he wasn’t the person people said he was. In fact, I found that I couldn’t escape the fact that his life was so impressively loving, selfless and generous. Perfect, in fact.

    Neither could I escape the fact that he claimed that he was going to die in order to redeem humanity (and the universe) to himself.

    In the face of that kind of love, I couldn’t remain unmoved. I now follow him.

    Of course, I’ve had to do a lot of work over the years to check out all his claims and see if they’re historically true, but so far he hasn’t disappointed me yet. upsidedown

    God bless, and I plan on now going and checking out your WP themes. Thank you. biggrin


  • Sherri said,
    June 14, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hi Becca,
    I came here to check out the person whose theme I’m using (13), and was pleasantly surprised to see the latest post was on my favorite subject. You seem very wise.

    To answer your question, I also grew up without a family religion, though here in the Bible Belt, nearly everyone is loosely Christian, even if he doesn’t go to church. I’ve gone to several Christian denomination churches and studied many other religions looking for something that felt true.

    What feels true at the moment is that we are all God, all deserving of joy, and are guided by our spiritual selves. That behind-the-scenes guidance makes sense to me, since most everything comes out well in the end, even if it’s just a necessary lesson learned. The highest emotion is gratitude, which I believe is the tether from our individual souls to God.

    I am always glad when I see someone happy and fulfilled in their own beliefs, even if they are different than mine. What makes me sad is when someone is unhappy in their chosen faith, but they can’t change it because of other people’s expectations.

    Anyway, I love your theme, and I’m glad to have met you. )

  • Joni said,
    June 14, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hey Becca. I like what you wrote about this topic. Good job! )

    I’m also a Christian, but I never think that I’m better than anyone (Christians and non-Christians). I have loved ones who don’t believe in God too, and I love them with all my heart. I never liked arguing about the existence/non-existence of God because most of the time it only causes a gap between two parties, and that’s never good. Everyone should respect and accept each other’s beliefs and individuality, not fight each other. I think it’s important for all to realize this.

    To answer your questions.. “..what do your beliefs (or lack thereof) mean to you? Or what do they feel like?” — My faith in God reminds me that I’m going to be all right no matter what happens. Even if I’m in the midst of a crisis it is my faith that gives me peace and joy. And because of my faith in God, I’m not afraid of death or persecution. That’s what it makes me feel. I’m not a fan of “religions” because religions are often overrated or stereotyped, but I am a believer of Jesus Christ. I think religion and faith are two different things.

    I agree with what Sherri said about being glad to see people who are happy and fulfilled in their own beliefs. It’s a personal choice. Whatever a person believes in, as long as he is confident about it, then he should be respected, not condemned. )

    It’s wonderful of you to invite people to share what they think of this subject. I hope to read more comments. D

  • Chien Yee said,
    June 14, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I’m raised as a Buddhist since born but then I learnt other religions as I grew up, being them part of my syllabus in school. I think I’m quite an atheist but then there’s one part of me which believes that some supernatural being is out there. I don’t really bother with religion and such to be really honest with you. Friends are trying to pull me into their religion and all like offering to bring me to church, etc. I think religion is only there as a way to unite the people in the same train of thought or a way to divide between different communities

  • Thanos said,
    June 16, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Becca, wonderful post.
    I run into also consternation sometimes from folks who are religious who see me defending freedom of religion and the value of life steadfastly when I am an aetheist. It’s funny that they often assume I must be of their religion because I have clear morals, judgement, and values. It’s easy to gain all of that through reason if you are willing to think hard, and start from a base of valuing life, purpose, and reason.
    I’ve studied all of the major and minor religions in depth, but can’t “believe”, but I’m willing to admit that I could be wrong since my wife tells me that often. )

  • Thanos said,
    June 16, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Oops, syntax garbled, talking like yoda am I !

  • June 17, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I am still trying to find an answer to my own question, which largely is the question of purpose. Like you, I was born an atheist, unusually moral and an unusually dull child. (I read manuals on using Ms-DOS 4.1 instead of Tolkien, recently I’m catching up.) There’s been no pressure to go one way or another in my upbringing, so I never had the drive to pursue a family trade or lifelong passion.

    The sad thing is that my revelation in life comes from a TV show, Heroes.

    “You have two choices in life. You can be happy or you can be successful.”
    “Fine then, I want both.”
    “Sorry, that’s not a choice. You can only have one or the other.”

    I can aspire to become the biggest, the brightest, the (insert infinitive verb here)-est, but it will come at a cost: money, time, youth, etc., but what most people fail to grasp: relationships. People suffer from ambition as much as people suffer from each other. When it comes down to it, you have to ask what is more important to you. If it’s your family, you may never see the pillars of human achievement, even if you have a great job, it’ll be second fiddle to the people you care about. You can chose success, but you will never know your family and friends very well, even if you are happily married or you have a group of people you’ve always counted on, they will never be able to help you enough to reach the goals you want.

    The answer to that question is simple. People matter to me far more than my own well-being. It’s easy to see in my life. I eat little, I enjoy art as cheaply as possible (regarding museums, learning instruments and such, and less of modern film and amusement), I am eager to help my own friends far easier than to let them help me.

    As far as external influences come, that I find very hard to believe to be possible to turn around. (Then again reading Jean Baudrillard and Simon Blackburn isn’t helping.) Hope and optimism is seen as a default answer to everything beyond reason, even when it’s not necessary. Instead of disarming people, it’s seen with skepticism and guile since ‘everyone’ chooses to keep reinforcing the illusion of control when society seems to be pushing people beyond reason to serve it’s needs absent of the individual’s needs and wants. To be anything other than perfect is a liability anymore. Money solves all problems, instead of effort and intentions.

    It’s too easy to become depressed and overwhelmed. The truth? Less people have the courage to admit it in fear of being complanitive and ‘needy’.

    But my answer isn’t for everyone, as is my entire point of commenting tonight; I respect people who seek to know themselves more than push themselves onto others. It’s extremely rare to see where I’m at (California) and it’s getting harder to find not only here but everywhere. From what I’ve read, you’ve come pretty far on your search. I wish you luck on the rest of your journey.

  • Kelly said,
    June 17, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    A heartfelt, thought provoking post.

    I, myself, was brought up in a strict Roman Catholic household and turned to Judaism when I was around thirteen. It seems strange when I look back at it now – I rejected the dogma and doctrine forced upon me and strove to seek another dogma and doctrine, as I felt my life was not complete with a God in it.

    As I have grown older, I look at things a lot differently. I don’t believe there is a God. I believe that when we die, we become part of the Carbon Cycle. Why, or how, we came about is above my knowledge of science.

  • June 17, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Nice post, Becca, very nice.

    From my own experiences on the inner journey, I can tell you-

    1) Life is it’s own meaning. There is no extrinsic meaning that you can superimpose on life. All such attempts (to discover meaning, ultimate purpose, etc.) are the result of the immature use of the mind.

    2) Life is a great overflowing of love. The One becomes the many to experience the joy of union.

    3) There is nothing grander than the universe. There is no distinction between the Creator and creation. The Creator creates himself continuously through creation.

    4) All that is, is a manifestation of God. When you go within yourself and explore your inner space, you will sooner or later arrive at the core of your being, which is the core of the universe too. This core of existence is nameless, formless, beyond time and space, always Here Now. This is who you are.

    5) All that you have read so far in my post should not be believed. If it is believed, it is just another dogma, dead and lifeless, like a corpse. The truth is always fresh, ever new. It has to be realised first hand.

    May you have the courage to go within and find out who you are. May my words point the way to the Silence that lies beyond words. Peace.

  • tester said,
    June 19, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I am still trying to find an answer to my own question, which largely is the question of purpose. Like you, I was born an atheist, unusually moral and an unusually dull child. (I read manuals on using Ms-DOS 4.1 instead of Tolkien, recently I’m catching up.)

  • oguchi said,
    June 19, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I am a christian, I always thought i was until the day when i came to a meeting and everything, every wall i’ve been hiding behind was broken and i was like Adam, ashamed and naked and hiding but i came to him. The one i call king and saviour.

    Now his ways are becoming my ways, and my old nature is being changed through effort and faith and obedience to the bible – My book of morals.

    Nice post.

  • ann said,
    June 21, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hi Becca,
    Well I stumbled across your post and as I no longer believe in co-incidences there was a reason and so I find myself typing my very first reply on a blog!

    I was raised catholic and after my holy comunion was told i could now choose my own faith as her work was done (mum) Hmmmm, I chose no faith. I could not believe in God, no matter how hard I tried. Perhaps if it was one God only, no wars over religion, no contradictions in the bible, no wealth in the church (why does God need money and such extravagence?), trustworthy religious figures, and my list went on.
    I happily went through life for all of my 43 years not understanding why people gave up a perfectly good Sunday to praise a God they had never see, met or spoken to and for the best part was full of himself demanding that much attention. Yep – you could say I was a non believer!
    Later years (mid 30’s) I dabbled in new age stuff and sourced out different faiths. I felt I was searching for something but no idea what. None of what I found pleased me and I let the feeling go.
    Then last November I happend across the movie “The Secret”. Although I thought it very “Hollywood” and lacking information, something resonated within me and my quest was launched. It led me to more information, more insight and finally to Abraham Hicks.
    Today 8 months later my life has turned around. I do not recognise the woman I was and feel sorry that it took her so long to get here. I am no longer negative, unsocial, sarcastic, bitter, don’t hate children (have none of my own) and my list could go on.
    Today I love myself and I love my life. I love that I am a deliberate creator of my own life and forever connected to source energy. I love the way my life has turned around in all areas. The fact that I am begining to manifest my very desires and allowing them into my life. But mostly the fact that every morning i wake up and experience Joy and happiness. I no longer have to put on a face and smile my way through the day pretending I feel great – because I actually do!
    Joy to you Becca, we all find our way eventually and no oe is more surprised than I am that it was me. I felt compelled to post becasue for the first time in my life I could enter into a topic on Religion with a belief of my own. Thank you.

  • yangyang said,
    June 22, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hi, bec, can’t help but dropping a line, wish you luck and fortune.

    You are the best! )

  • chakrit said,
    June 25, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    as a Buddhism myself I have to say this…

    that Buddhism is understanding … understanding of how life goes on and how it ends and also how other things goes on and end too … and how to let go of all of that

    you need understanding … buddha is trying to point you in the right direction … not making you belief something or “feeling” or religion tolerance or whatever because …

    well … because if you understand it… you understand it … there is nothing to belief … no ceremony to attend … no praise to sing or whatever … unless that would help in the quest itself which is another point …

    basically most of the lessons come down to teaching you why the only constant in life is change and that you should let go of things, of emotions of love and anger of possession … because nothing lasts and binding to things that don’t last will only cause troubles …

    movies got buddhism all wrong… it ain’t about kung-fu fighting or miracles or i don’t know if people do get it that way … which is kind of sad for me if they do.

    well… i’m not too fluent at english hope my comment won’t read as aggressive to you, i’m just making my point

    i’ll be another subscriber of your blog too, if you don’t mind 🙂

  • Larry said,
    June 26, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Interesting musings, and in the spirit of musing; I shall now muse.

    I believe that life exists to survive and propagate. The difference between humans and other life forms is that we have a brain with the ability to contemplate our own existence and to assign meaning.

    My personal belief is that I exist to optimize my God/Nature given gifts and to contribute more than I take over the period of my lifetime. Happiness is the state of being that accrues from the knowledge that I put 100% of my ability and effort into whatever task that I am doing, and that in so doing, I have learned from it and will be better and more optimized the next time I perform it.

    Now, for some definitions.

    Survive: Some quasi-religious orgs (pun intended) define sanity as a person’s response to the survival question (i.e. how will I survive?). Survival is parsed into levels:

    1. Survival of self: the most base level of survival.
    2. Survival of group: the family or community.
    3. Survival of race: the entire human race.

    So insanity has levels:

    1. Innocuous Insanity: the desire to kill oneself. (innocuous because no one else dies).
    2. Normal Insanity: behavior that results in the non-survival of others (murderers, criminals, etc.)
    3. Major Insanity: behavior that results in genocide possibilities. (Adolf Hitler, nuclear war, etc.)

    After many years of thought on this definition, I’ve decided that it’s not too bad, as far a definitions go. So, on to the next definition.

    Propagate: We all know what that’s about. 🙂

    Optimize: To maximize a process or thing so as to obtain the best possible results from a given set of latencies or initial conditions. For example: musical talent is a latency that is optimized by polished/perfected performances which benefit many. The process of taking the talent (latency) to fruition (polished performance) is the essence of human life.

    The interesting thing about the human mind is that optimization is a moving target that changes with accomplishment. Its like a road trip, every mile we travel brings a new set of horizons.

    Take: In order to survive everybody has to take something. Google Maslow’s Triangle.

    Contribute: Ah … Yes, a very simple and yet, highly complex concept. Technically, it means to give a service or a thing. Personally, I view contribution as a function of motivation to be the real or realized definition. I perceive 3 levels of motivation in the act of contribution.

    1. Self-Interest. (read as “greed”). An individual performs the act of contribution in order to optimize the TAKE. For example: Corporate executives giving a few hours of time in order to be compensated at a level that allows the purchase of that “all-important” 5th house set on the edge of some protected nature preserve which, will be occupied maybe once or twice during the ownership period.

    2. Enlightened Self-Interest. An individual performs the act of contribution in order to actually contribute something worthy, but it’s OK, and even kind of expected that some recognition comes along with it. Most of us live in this state of contribution.

    3. Anonymous. Contribution without any expectation of reward. Only the mature souls among us can operate at this level.

    So, there you have it. Some drivel from an experienced driveler.

    Live long and contribute.

  • Emma said,
    June 27, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Religion is mostly a societal institution–its purpose has more to do with social structure than with spiritual truth. But at the heart of every mass religion is a core of mysticism. And what that core says, more or less, is not that “there is something grander than the universe itself”, but rather that *the universe itself is grander than we often realize*. Which is kind of what you were saying in your post, that you found the juice of life and felt the awe and wonder of it. That’s the core, the essence of spirituality.

    My personal observation is that many people who consider themselves atheists are closer to that essence than they realize–they just don’t language it that way, because they’ve only been exposed to the front-end of religions and don’t realize that the underlying esoteric stuff makes a lot more sense to the thinking person. IMHO.

    Real spirituality is not about omnipotent deities, it’s about the vital core of succulent life that we experience when we slow down and pay attention. *That’s* what spirituality means to me. It’s not about believing in something that isn’t real, but about experiencing the underlying connections and magic in actual reality. No true spirituality is divorced from reality–rather it is grounded in it.

  • Claudia said,
    June 29, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hi Becca,

    I came here cause I had messed up my blog which uses your lovely design.

    And came across this very interesting post of yours. I used to be an aethist myself but do believe in a source of creative power. Actually my question is how do we know what’s real anyway.

    I’m sure my eyes percieve colors differently to anybody else which makes me realise we all have our own grasps on reality. And if the bible has any truths well then we are all gods because God said he created us in his image.

    The process of creation all begins with the pictures we create in our cerebral area. In fact how do we know we’re not living in an illusion?

  • lisa said,
    July 3, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    i’ve been raised without religion as well, but for me its not something i’m comfortable with…lately i’m kind of searching for something

  • Jane said,
    July 3, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I have never met a person, who was born wise, because I don’t think there is such a thing. Everything depends on how hard the person works, the influence of people around him/her.

    I was also brought up without religion, my nana was strongly religious, therefore I never saw her for the first three years of my live, because she wouldn’t let me into her house without me being christened. I am still athiest, similar to my mother, I am not sure whether she is atheist or agnostic, whereas I am unsure about my father, he is christened but I doubt he is religious.

  • Momo said,
    July 4, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    You say you’re not religious, but just from reading this one entry I get a lot of a sense of a certain kind of religiousness from you. It’s not traditional as we know it in society, but more of a searching for one’s soul. I see religion as a more structured search, structured by others who came before us and who are trying to guide us with what they think is right. I think they have our best interests at heart, but they stray from the meaning because they’re only human after all (like us.) Right now I am Christian and I’m trying to establish a relationship with God and with Jesus that is more direct and has less influence of people in it, less influence of the “church” as it is known. Trying to figure out what I should expect from God, from myself and from others. I see all people who are searching as “religious” but I think the idea of religion has been very much incorporated and it’s time for people to take it back and make it a good thing again.

  • Momo said,
    July 4, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Ann, what is The Secret and who is Abraham Hicks? You sound like you’ve found something really helpful, and your “before” assessment sounds a lot like me right now. I could use some of what you’ve found!Agree with you wholeheartedly on the wealth of the church etc. Still, I am Christian. I believe in God, though I don’t know how much I believe in people.

  • Lisa said,
    July 5, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    That was an amazing post. I often wonder about the world and God and all that but it confuses me. I can’t imagine there ever being nothing. And I often wonder where it all came from. That stone analogy is so right. I love it. I’ve got another one – To the world you are one person, but to one person you are the world. I’m not sure if thats an anology as such, but its the same kind of thing.

    Hope all your wishes come true, you seem like a special, thoughtful person and I wish I new you because I think we’d be best friends lol. Thats wierd. tongue xxx

  • Dave said,
    July 6, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Becca, regarding your first point about having wisdom. Some of the smartest people I know have one trait that you have mentioned in your post, tolerance. The ability to be open minded about different things helps you gain wisdom.

  • Unaiza said,
    July 6, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I understand how you found someone to be wise and understood everything you are feeling. I have met a few people who seem that way but once I got close to them, they turned out to have flaws just like everyone else. They may be wise in some things, but in others, they are not.

    My parents have raised me with religion although they are not as strict as some of my other relatives when it comes to religious teachings, they still try to get my brother and I to pray once in a while. Everyone slips up, don’t they?

    There comes a time in someone’s life that they need to consider everything they learned, influences in their life from friends, family, strangers, etc., and think about what they truly believe. Especially if they live in a place with different kinds of people and different influences… it’s happened to me and my friends and it’ll happen to others as well.

    I have thought about god and the “right” religion and came to a conclusion that everyone thinks their own religion is the right one but we don’t know that for sure. It annoys me when people say that their religion is the true one or when people that don’t believe in god say that there is no god and religious people to stop holding on to that safety blanket they call religion.

    God hasn’t been proven or disproven. It’s up to every individual to decide what they want to believe.

  • ann said,
    July 8, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Firstly open minded is definitely what you need to be and as it all sounded so airy fairy it took me some time to grasp. But where I am now is amazing in contrast to where I was in all areas, mental, health and finances. I literally manifest into my life what it is I wish to experience for I am the creator of my reality. Abraham is a group of non physical beings who are channeled through Esther Hicks and for me their words resonated so deep within me that from no belief system I found myself with one I could handle. The belief that we are all “God” so to speak and as such deserve the best we can be. Opening yourself up to your innerself or “source energy” allows well being to flow.
    Not everyone will get it, not everyone will be comfortable. I was one such person and then took a 30 day challenge figuring I had nothing to lose if it was all rubbish. Needless to say it is now a part of my life and life continues to get better every day. “It’s good to feel good” and I can now understand the term reborn instead of scoffing, for that’s how I feel as the person I used to be with all her negativity and bitterness is but a distant memory. I suggest rather than “the secret” a movie called “what the bleep do we know” which was a major breakthrough for me and understanding the term “thoughts are things”
    Joyous thoughts for there are no others worth thinking!

  • Fabrizio said,
    July 8, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago


    As some other people I came here to search for your lovely theme for wordpress.

    I’ve read a little of your post and even less of other’s contributions, sorry for that, but I’ve no time to read them all actually.

    I’m an (proud) athesit. There’s no need to be tolerant with religion, which is often the primary cause of conflicts, in history and in the present (without religion nobody would sacrifice his life to go in heaven with 73 virgin girls…). Respectful for religious people (or people in general, obviously), yes…but there’s no any need to respectful for religion, no more than you are respetful for a “flying elephant”…

    Nature has not been created in a single event by chance, nor by someone. Every single form of life has evolved by single steps, each selected by nature to survive or not. It’s quite clear that a bird hasn’t been created by a pile of atoms by chance, in a single event.

    If you would like to help yourself in understending deeply how to justify your atheism and learn how it is far better than any religion, there’s plenty of books around.

    Personally, I’m reading Richard Dawkins’ “The God Delusion”. It’s great, you’ll find yourself how to justify atheism with scientific premises and humanistic simple principles. You’ll find yourself why we don’t need any God to understand what is good and what is evil and why it’s so difficult to be religious if not continuosly teached by childhood to be so: in fact it’s way to simple (and even more useful for the human kind and for yourself!) to not believe in any superior (secret?) agent!

    Believe me (doh!), if you would like to order sistamatically your atheistic thinking, start reading that book: you can even read the first chapter for free here, http://richarddawkins.net/godDelusion#firstChapter .

    I’m italian and that’s the second book about atheism I’ve read, in english, beacause it’s difficult we got them translated here (believe it or not, the power of the Vatican here is almost strong, the press is greatly influenced by anything the pope say…). So, imagine what my thirst for such an argument should be, to read hundreds pages in another language other than my native one.

    Though, I’m completly satisfied and looking forward to improve my view of the world by an atheistic point of view. )

    Hope I’ve been helpful (though a little bit too synthetic, sorry again)!

  • Dee said,
    July 8, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hi Becca,

    I agree totally with James’ response.

    Now to answer your questions in my own words:

    1) what do your beliefs (or lack thereof) mean to you?

    I believe that Jesus the Christ is the Son of God and died for my sins. I believe that His (historically documented) resurrection made it possible for me to call God Father.

    What does this mean to me? It means that the biological shipwreck that I inherited as a father was not the be all and endall of who I am or who I can become. Although I possess his biological DNA, when I said I believe, I also inherited the spiritual DNA of God.

    How does that make me feel?

    Pain free … my migraines were healed at a Conference in 2001 and I’ve not had another since,

    Proud … I was able to forgive my shipwreck.. ahem … father for his abuse posthumously

    Free … I was able to disassociate myself from the guilt feelings of being a rape and incest survivor. (The natural tendency is to blame/castigate/hate oneself)

    Peaceful … when I finally said yes Lord to God’s call on my life, I felt His spirit enfold me and permeate the utmost part of my being… pushing out the insecurities, self-hate, etc.

    It means that although bipolar (inherited from the shipwreck), that is not all that I am or will be.

    It also means that although I am an incest survivor, the occurrence did not damage me beyond repair… after all… I’m still here. Some didn’t make it.

    This is getting kind of long so I’ll end with this quote, “what a man or woman thinks in his/her heart, so is (s)he”

    If you think you’re an atheist, than that’s what you’ll be. If you desire to know or experience more about God … speak it out loud… He will make Himself known to you.


  • July 9, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Aren’t beliefs a religious concept?


  • Caz said,
    July 10, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    It’s funny how some comments stay with us… )

  • myr said,
    July 10, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hi Beccary )
    I believe in a personal religion built up on my own
    and althought I believe in a sort of parallel world where souls live after death of bodies, I think also that maybe there’s no meaning to life.
    Believing in something doesn’t implie always that your life is meaningful.

    I see life as a stream of feelings and everyone should do anything that makes him feel better not because of a particular rule, but just because in this way ’someone feels better’. Certainly there are also social rules (important because they allow different people to live together) that stated, for example, that you can do anything you want only if it doesn’t damage others (which is similar to what Confucio said).

    Religions have rised up with their rules, maybe just to represent social rules when social rules didn’t exist yet.

    you’re wordpress themes are wonderful (I actually use one of them) and I admire a lot you also because of your thoughts blush

  • Jim said,
    July 11, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Interesting. I’ve always felt I was born wise glasses

    I completely agree with you though. I am in a way aethist but have no reason to put down religion.

  • July 12, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hello Beccary,
    This is my first visit to your site, and the very first thing I saw was this post and I was immediately intrigued by it and read the whole thing. Your take on life is almost the exact same as mine.

    I too went through a brief (in the grand scheme, during the depressive times it felt like an eternity) stage of depression and I think that left me with an overwhelming pessimistic view of life. However, it also left me with the same bit of advice that you seem to have come away with. I realized that life in general is pretty bad to everyone, so anything I can do to help someone else out, even if it’s something like giving some random person a quarter so they can take the bus, can potentially make things a little easier on them.

    I’ve never been very open about my thoughts or philosophies on how I live my life, but I just thought I’d share my thoughts on this particular matter. I realize that with the pure volume of comments this will probably never actually reach you.. But I want to wish you the best of luck with everything.


  • Mithcell said,
    July 12, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    This is probably the first blog post about personal feelings that has ever caught my eye enough to read and comment. I doubt that due to the large amount of comments this one will read by the author of this blog, but nonetheless I will spend the next 25 minutes formulating a reply.

    I have a rather high IQ of 142 (I cannot remember of the two which type the test was), which of course I’m quite proud of and sometimes like to boast about it as I am now.

    While IQ does not indicate the intellect of an individual it does represent a person’s ability to learn and comprehend.

    Over the years I have analyzed the sociological and subsequent psycological aspects of people. These “psycological profiles” as I like to call them serve as a purpose of understanding in order to be able to manipulate society to my own benefit. I feel that my knowledge and intellect now gives me the authority to review your case.

    After reading your post a few thoughts have occurred in my mind. I have deduced that you are a person suffering from a weak form of depression and are slightly confused/worried about the world around you. I do speak of this in a derogatory sense as I myself suffer from the same thing and it is what originally attracted me to your post.

    Although you may think that my summed beliefs are wrong, you will find out that in essence I am right. My statement of your depression for instance can be interpreted that I am saying you are a deeply emotionally character, feeling psychologically indifferent to the world. However even just feeling a little glum at times can be depression.

    Basically everyone suffers depression, even those who have everything that you think you would want. I.e. A man with riches and numerous contacts (which you may think is good) can suffer from depression because his relationship with others is not what he would want it to be. This so-called friends of his are actually acquaintances manipulating each other for their own personal benefit, not like true friends who would do favors without being asked or given anything.

    Depression can lead to what I call a kind of “social malnutrition”. You become socially aware of yourself, cease to engage in social conversations and start to theorize about different aspects of the world. This concentration on other aspects of life is caused by not having social contact which your brain is starved for (which is why i call it malnutrition).

    Although by now I feel you have grasped the basics of what i am trying to convey, I realize that this is a bit complicated to interpret in a real-life situation, so I will give you an example. When a person is the desert without food or water their brain will start to become weary. In search for an answer it will start to hallucinate various things such as an oasis with coconut trees. Your brain will do anything to survive from eternity (or the theory of nothingness), even if this means turning on your best mate.

    Eternity (nothingness) makes people mad, and the same can be said for a lack of social contact. The brain’s way of ensuring that there is stimuli in the case of lack of social contact is by expressing beliefs.

    If you argue that the brain does not require this stimuli and that it can accept “nothingness” then I will prove it to you.

    Top secret national Agencies such as the FBI, CIA, etc. now use a tactic which is called “sensory confinement” to get information out of a victim. This process is rather simple and can seem rather innocent to the public which is why it has not yet been outlawed like it’s predecessor tactic of “waterboarding”.

    In the process of “sensory confinement” a person is usually securely straped to a seat to ensure minimum movement in a soundproof room with a blindfold attached firmly to his head. While this doesn’t seem that bad, it can make a person go insane within a couple of days. In fact you can practically get a person to do anything within 24 hours. Why? Because your brain needs stimuli, and it will do anything for it as I have said before. The lack of stimuli is what can be best called “nothingness”.

    I have decided to get this reply quickly over with since I have little time and you must surely be getting tired reading it.

    The theories are shown in your post. You are expressing your views and you mention that you previously suffered from depression. This shows that you still do, although it is a weaker form. It shows that you are slightly confused towards the world and your brain cannot comprehend that it is not the best, like an emotionless person who is perfect in every way.

    I feel that you have thought a lot about sociology and it’s impacts, including religion.

    I think that you feel you are an athiest or a buddist.

    I can tell you that you are definately not an athiest, as you are currently expressing views. In fact the vast majority of people who claim to be atheists are not in some way or another. Atheists are just people who are confused about their religion as they don’t believe in one god and/or have leanings towards the thoeries of science. As I said your brain cannot believe in nothingness, which is what the religion of atheism is about.

    You are most likely, like most people and I, a secular humanitarian. If you don’t know about this religion (and I doubt you do) I suggest you look it up.

    All of it’s properties collate to your opinions on life and religion.

    I hope this post means something to somebody. smile

  • Lucy said,
    July 14, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    For me, Christianity is a way of life. I recently heard a sermon about this, and it really spoke to me. It’s not just a doctrine, and it’s not about a set of rules. It’s about love, and becoming the kind of person Jesus was. He never liked the “religious” people who followed all the rules, but didn’t really love God with their hearts. Instead, he reached out to the lowest of the low – prostitutes, tax collectors, etc. Christianity is about the lifestyle of Jesus, and what he did for us. It’s not so much about following rules than about loving others.

  • Jenny said,
    July 15, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I love you Becca. This is for you!

  • Diana said,
    July 16, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    LOL. Go atheists. Next time they ask what you believe in, say “myself D ”

  • Alfonso said,
    July 16, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Religion was “invented” because we needed continuity of life after death. We can’t accept that we are insignificant pieces running around this planet that will vanish after a finite time. If you can accept the fact that what you are doing right now will not justify the ends, then you should be free from the bounds of religion. You may call it atheism, but I must say it is wisdom.

  • Flipteezy said,
    July 16, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I’m just glad you’re not bashing anyone’s religion which makes you double cool!

    I’m a Christian, but not a perfect person. I still maintain my many friendships with Muslims, Buddhists, and Atheists but never try to “convert” or convince them to be one of me. I still live my life, flip off people to those that cut me off in traffic, yell at telemarketers, and just about everything that normal people do. However, I think that it doesn’t matter what one believes in, but that one does believe in something. With all the advanced medicines and technology in our world today, we still cannot overcome death, so therefore, there must be something greater than all of us that we cannot yet understand, and that’s why I think religion exists.

    ugh, too much thinking and analyzing… why lie? I need a beer.

  • July 22, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hello there, thank you for yr wordpress themes, pls keep them coming : )

  • Anonymous said,
    July 23, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    wink tongue sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad

  • Wayne said,
    July 23, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Its been a funny sort of life hasn’t it?

    I’m still suffering quite heavily from depression, I used to cope with it in a more sadistic way, I would somehow trick myself into enjoying it. I never thought it would be this hard to come out of it, I thought the birth of my daughter would bring me new hope. As a struggling atheist I don’t have much to look forward to other than making my loved ones happy.

    What i’m trying to say is, within my precarious life, the little things and even the bigger things, like raising my child, and to never stop learning, are the things to strive for, to continuously reach for success in these areas. I see happiness around the bend, and by fulfilling what matters most in my life, I can eventually reach it.

    “So I dig into life as I would a stretch of wet sand simply because I enjoy it.”
    Without rhyme or reason, this is the way everyone should experience life.

    You get out of it, what you put into it.

  • TheVoice said,
    July 23, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    This is a very nice blog site.

  • G said,
    July 23, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    spirituality vs. religion

    some could describe spirituality as everything that is not religion.

  • amita said,
    July 23, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    What an interesting post, and such interesting responses.

    Without being long-winded and pedantic, I would suggest some research into quantum mechanics, particularly Bohm’s Implicate Order and the holographic universe, as well as the Pondicherry Interpretation of QM.

    What physicists are discovering is the same thing enlightened men and women have been saying for a long, long time: There is only One thing and you are that. At the quantum level, realism and locality do not exist. Everything that we perceive as separate things are simply properties of that One thing. Waves on a vast Ocean, all seeing each other as distinct and separate, but really all are just Ocean. To quote The Beatles, “I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.”

    A property of that One thing is Consciousness (obviously so, else it would not exist.) You are not your ego. You are Consciousness. You were never born and can never die. Waves on the Ocean are temporary, but there is really only Ocean.

  • G said,
    July 23, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    spirituality vs. religion

    some could describe spirituality as everything that is not religion..

  • July 24, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    What a lovely post! I am an atheist too, and like you, I was raised that way, and I’ve been down those valleys of depression and rage. I just never found solace in “something other” that seemed to give so many people courage and hapiness. Just never clicked. You got a lot of great responses to this post and I can’t add more too them in less than 80,000 words so I’ll just say, I’m glad that we are here on this planet together. You are so right: it is glorious!!!

    And hey, check out my website, which I call Atheistic Optimism, for more on my own journeys. I will get a link back to you sometime this week.

  • unwesen said,
    July 26, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago


    I’m an atheist, raised by an atheist (father) and a roman catholic (mother). My reasoning for atheism runs along fairly similar lines as yours. Now rather than replicate a lot of what I’ve written about here, I’d like to point you to my own blog.

    Is it about atheism and/or religion? Err… not really. But a lot of the posts are of what I call a philosophical nature, and some might just interest you, because they explore similar questions: what beliefs should one base ones behaviour on.

    Other than that, I can say that my own, hmm, spiritual emancipation a decade or so ago has been strongly influenced by two books which I can therefore heartily recommend:

    The Satanic Bible (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Satanic_Bible), a gloriously funny book with a few grains of truth in them — and the Book of Tea (http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/tea.htm). Neither of them will likely provide answers to anyone, but I found their combination to be a fairly interesting concept.

  • nicki said,
    July 26, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    okay, i didn’t have time to read thru the fifty something comments (wow!), but i will comment on your post. thanks for your thoughts. i always consider it a total blessing when someone opens themselves in that kind of way to be vulnerable. i was also impressed at the 10 or so comments that i did read. a lot of respect there! that seems hard to find nowadays. great conversation!

  • Patti said,
    July 27, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hi Becca,

    Nice to meet you, and thank you for asking. I, too, do truly believe that people can seem to be “born wise”, but usually the reasons lie in their upbringing rather than an innate wisdom. In other words, some parents are more adept at passing on an independence of spirit and well-rounded education than others. In my not so humble opinion ( biggrin ), that’s not just GOOD parenting, it’s GIFTED parenting.

    I admire your open-mindedness given your non-religious leanings. I hope that in your endeavors to better understand the world around you and all it’s beliefs, you may someday (after pondering the subject enough to be curious) choose to enter the portals of a good church where you might find the answers you’re looking for.

    For the record, I am a Christian, but my ideas of religion may be a bit heretical at times. For instance, I don’t hold with organized religion being the end all and be all of a Christian life.

    I don’t get to church every week (miss most weeks if truth be told), yet I have a VERY personal relationship with God. Yet, I accept with humility and faith that the path of my life, while it can be affected by my choices, is in His hands. When good things happen to me, I give Him praise. When bad things happen, I look for the good in them and try to take something away from the experience. You see, I believe that our purpose in this life is to learn and educate others by our example. To me that goes far beyond simply existing.

    Every action, including your post and my writing this response, can have far reaching impacts that we cannot even begin to predict. How can you know, for instance, that your blog hasn’t changed the mind of someone who was god-less? You can’t. You can assume, you can guess, but you’ll never know just how significant your words were in the mind of someone. That’s what I mean about learning and educating. I believe our individual purpose is as mysterious as it is wonderful.

    I also believe deeply that I will be reunited with my loved ones in the next life. I have no idea what this future life will be like other than all the negative elements of this world will cease to be. My mind boggles at what to expect, but my faith has helped me overcome the grief of the death of both my beloved parents and other loved ones. What can I say. My faith just IS…like my breathing. Just as you find it difficult to understand these beliefs, I find it difficult to understand a life without hope of a future like that I envision. Am I deluded? Some would say yes, and yet I don’t think so. I certainly HOPE not.

    Anyway, thank you for asking and allowing me to voice my feelings and thoughts about my faith on your blog. I hope you don’t mind me asking that God bless you and keep you, Becca.


  • Jay said,
    July 27, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Love the smilies! grin

  • Jonathan said,
    July 30, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Honesty is awesome.

    I too have struggled with depression… and agree that I probably would have bitch-slapped you a few years ago myself. Perhaps a virtual internet-based-bitch-slap. Though seeing someone who had dealt with the same things I was dealing with able to develop a positive outlook on life might have prevented me from boiling over with rage. But to the question at hand:

    I was raised a Christian, but only made it personal (AKA started caring) in college. Throughout the year and a half that I dealt pretty severely with depression I questioned not only God’s existence, but also his goodness. It took a slew of counseling and pills to get me back on track. Fortunately, I arrived on the other side with my beliefs intact, and indeed strengthened.

    And I say again, honesty is awesome.

  • Ramses said,
    August 6, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    okay, i didn’t have time to read thru the fifty something comments (wow!), but i will comment on your post. thanks for your thoughts

    Love the smilies biggrin

  • August 6, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I was like you born and raised without religion. My parents and brother are devout atheists. And so was I for the first twenty years of my life or so.

    I’m curious by nature, so I read all kinds of stuff including books on religion, I talked to religious people. For some reason my mindset changed and at a certain point I believed it was not just me, but the realization I was a little drop in a very big ocean of people. Other people praise me because I know so much, but I myself ask what the point of knowing much or being wise is. Does knowledge make you happy? Does wisdom make you happy? It didn’t made me happier knowing more and more.

    Practicing religion expanded my mind and my consciousness beyond the scope of the materialistic realm. I started to wonder about certain things: why does a sunset affect me emotionally. I started to feel humble by nature’s beauty. I realized I as an individual aren’t that important, my real strength doesn’t lie in the fact I’m considered to be a wise person, who studied at university. My real strength as a human being lies in the fact I can decrease together with others to lift humanity as a whole. When everyone is humble and serves the other, we can do the most magnificent things. This isn’t material but spiritual. Religion taught me that and I feel like I’m more complete and whole now.

    That is what my religion means to me. It gives that extra quality of life I wouldn’t have had otherwise (i.e. before I got religious).

  • Mari said,
    August 7, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hi, !
    I’m from brasil.
    Tanks for yoyr visit on my blog

  • Sharif said,
    August 9, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Wow… great article. Enjoyed your writing and like will take the following quote from your article. Have a nice day )

    “I can’t change the world but maybe I can brighten yours for just a moment”

  • Rowena said,
    August 9, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hi, Becca,

    Firstly, beautiful layout, I love it, and great post. You seem to have your head on straight, a rare quality, today.
    Secondly, I am a Christian. I was raised a Christian by two Christian parents. Since about fall of ‘06 I toyed with the idea of converting to Paganism, I had lost my faith. But after much research, I eventually found it again, and I’m a much more confident, happier, and better person for it. What do my beliefs mean to me? My beliefs remind me that I’m never going to be entirely rejected, my beliefs hold me to a standard that the rest of the world won’t, but I know I need to be held to, anyway.
    My beliefs have affected my discernment and have made me a more compassionate person, because I’m living by the example my Saviour gave me, although I am tender in years, people who are twice my age come to me for advice.
    I, also, previously suffered from depression due to a very rough early childhood, but my beliefs have helped me to realize my self-worth and to help deal with my anger. I recognize that, though I’m going to screw up on occasion, I have a Father who’s never going to stop loving me, and will continue to improve me as the years progress.
    My faith gives me a similar purpose to your’s, it gives me joy to make other people happy. Or at least to help them improve themselves, I let my God work through me to help others. And that is one of the greatest experiences, to me.
    Somewhat long, I know. Although I realize you don’t know me, I’d really love to talk to you more, if you’re in the mood, you can email me.

  • Nats said,
    August 11, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hello Becca,

    Just love your site so many varied and interesting articles. I like you am an atheist, you do not have to belong to any religious group to be a good person. Unfortunately over the centuries religion created power for those at the top and with that power came money. How many people have been killed in the name of religion worldwide?, how can anyone of a particular persuasion kill someone because they are of another religious persuasion.

  • Ajit said,
    August 11, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Well, guys, here’s my opinion. Why do you want to punish yourself and deprive your self of Divine bliss because of wrong, lustful, greedy etc. tendencies of the so called religious leaders.
    GOD EXISTS, and we all have a birth right to experince him/her (after you have experinced it, you will realise there are both the femenine and masculine aspects of GOD), so go ahead and get that experince and shun the so called religions of the world, for they do no good.
    Try http://www.sahajayoga.org and see if it helps you. Try it for a good 3-4 weeks before to decide to accept or reject it, and yes, it’s FREE. You do not pay for your SELF REALIZATION and to know GOD.

  • Fasin said,
    August 14, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I just happened to find your site while browsing; very nice.
    I was just wondering why you made comments on not believing in God if you’re an atheist. Are you searching for something, afterall? For me God is very real. I’ve experienced His presence and power during my time as a christian and it would be treason for me to say He isn’t real. It’s true, believing comes by faith, but if nobody believed God would still exist. Think that onr through. It says in the bible in the book of psalms, “…taste and see that the Lord is good.” It’s not until you try that you can know if something is real or not. Like you studying IT. Had you not put it into practise you would never have known or experienced its reality. It’s the same with God. I won’t detail too much here since other christians have already explained the gospel. They say “Seeing is believing”, Jesus says “Believe and you shall see wonders beyond your wildest dreams.” Jesus came to forgive NOT to condemn. He loves YOU like crazy.

  • August 15, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Jesus loves you.

  • August 15, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    blogs created by you are ok.

  • Syarul said,
    August 17, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    ..Out of millions of sperms, one only win into ovum,
    ..Hang to the womb or you may fall,
    ..Out of two or more, one or twins win the forming inside the womb,
    ..get all the senses or won’t,
    ..lived during the birth stage, or die in the event
    ..into a country of peace or a ravaging wars,
    ..into a age of wisdom or barbarian era,
    ..into few of the riches or to the lot of poors,
    ..on the course of growth with love or tragic parents,
    ..die of disease or survivor of all,
    ..pretty looking or an ugly duckling,
    ..with educations or never at all,
    ..swept the floor or bought the floor,
    ..an opportunist or to the flock of followers,
    ..killed in tragic accident, handicapped or unscathed,
    ..bought ego and skepticism or sell it all for wisdom,
    ..with a religions guidance or none,
    ..with the true religion or the wrongs,
    ..hold true to the testaments or wont,
    ..to the winners or to the losers of all,
    ..into grave of doers of ill or good,
    ..walk only one straight path of haven or falls,
    ..into many within Hell-fiery wrath to no ends,
    ..or into few eternity watchers to the sole face of our Creator.

  • a said,
    August 20, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    love your Almost Spring, thks…:)

  • Chimommy said,
    August 20, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hi there. I haven’t stopped by in a long time but felt the desire to do so today. I’m very glad I did because I enjoyed reading this post. I love reading posts that make me take a deeper look at myself. I only wish I could be half as insightful.

    As for my beliefs and what they mean to me… while I was raised a Christian, I don’t practice any religion at all. While I have beliefs in a higher power, that’s about as far as it goes. I live life day to day and according to what I feel is right. Nothing more complicated than that. I don’t believe in organized religion because I cannot stand the thought of someone telling me what I should think or believe. It is simply not for me. Although contrary to that, both of my daughters are Baptized. Makes no sense at all does it. biggrin

  • butchie said,
    August 21, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I found your site via googling “durian”

    You know about the durians.

  • Kent said,
    August 24, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    butchie ****
    You can ask me for durian yummy

  • Jeff said,
    August 25, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hi Becca,

    I feel like I’m getting here a little bit late in the game ) Maybe you’ll still read my post at some point, though. I found your site while browsing about for wp themes (of which yours are quite nice, I must say). Regarding your post, let me ask you a question about which I have been thinking a lot lately:

    Would you want to know the Truth (about God, life, its purpose, etc), even if it were completely different than what you currently believe?

    The more I think about this question, the more I like it. So often I hear people say things like “I refuse to believe in a God who (insert attribute of which we are not fond)…” Like, “I refuse to believe in a God who would send people to hell.” Or “I refuse to believe that God could love someone like me.” Or whatever. But that doesn’t make sense – if there is a God in heaven, he is who is he, and what we believe or don’t believe about him makes a notably absent impact on who he actually is.

    People of all faiths often frustrate me in this. So many don’t seek truth, they seek confirmation to what they already believe/want to hear. And they deceive themselves into believing that they have found the ultimate truth.

    So, Becca, if this does not describe you, if you are one who will seek after the truth no matter kind of an effect it will have on your life, I respect you immensely, and I encourage you to continue in this. Because if you are legitimately interested in truth and not in confirmation, I have a feeling that you will one day find that “something grander” you’ve been looking for (or it will find you ) .


  • August 25, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    As others have hinted at, pointing towards the foolish behavior of some religious people does nothing to invalidate the possibility of God. People – all of us – are both beautiful and flawed; laden with astounding potential, yet capable of great evil. Unfortunately that’s true regardless of out religious affiliation- or lack thereof.

    It is historically inaccurate (and dogmatic?) to recall accounts of evil done in the name of religion in the world, yet conveniently skipping over similar exploits of the non-religious. Does anyone remember Joseph Stalin? Or the present-day persecution of a secular, atheistic Chinese state? Please… these points are merely distractions. As others have suggested, seek God for who He is; not for who misguided people have made him out to be at various points of history.

    Isn’t it interesting how often right-wing fundamentalists and resolute atheists, coming from two seemingly opposite ends of the belief spectrum, can sound so equally self-important, intolerant and self-absorbed? Methinks these two are closer to the same breed than either would like to admit.

    Last point: The term Christian is burdened with some serious cultural baggage. That’s why I prefer to refer to myself as a follower of Jesus of Nazareth. His way was (and is) not easy, not typically religious, but very “spiritual” in the contemporary use of the term, and very transformative- both on an individual and collective level. Those of us counting ourselves as part of the Emergent Church movement are earnestly seeking to follow this way of Christ, while simultaneously leaving behind the baggage of our contemporary, Americanized, westernized, modernized, theory of religion and of reality in general.

    I am a sojourner counting every precious minute- whether profound, seemingly mundane, spectacular, or crushingly painful- as seed to a grand scheme that is literally mind-numbing in its extravagant, beautiful creativity.

    Love and peace to all.

  • Verity said,
    August 26, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    It was interesting for me, to read your post know because I relate, right now, to much of what you’ve written.

    I was brought up with one parent a believer and the other an atheist, so I had a mixed bag really growing up.

    I’ve been part of many religions in my search for enlightenment, meaning, purpose and reason. I find it hard to live if there’s no purpose, but have more recently learnt that I have to have purpose for myself and no one else (god or otherwise).

    I’ve gone from Mormon to Evangelism, read up on Zen, Hindu, Buddhism, and many more.

    Western religions are very fanatical and lack a lot of reason, logic and tolerance. I find western religion a contradiction.

    East is more peaceful and in harmony. Not so fixed and rigid as western religion.

    I believe Jesus may well have been a real person and a hero of his time, but I don’t believe he was the messiah of god, or the incarnation of god.

    I feel as though I am not an atheist either.

    And most of all, I have witnessed someone I love dearly die and know from this one experience; the soul lives on.

    One quote, that stops me feeling quite so small and alone on this planet is that if in this Universe -as vast and large as it is- we are the only beings in it, then its an awful waste of space.

  • Anonymous said,
    August 31, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    yawn smile mad stress evil yell vodka vodka vodka vodka vodka lightbulb

  • dee said,
    August 31, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hi becca, I am not really a religious man, but I do have religion, i know that God is there somewhere among us. And the fact that there is no logical science can yet on the same path with any religious theory. So things that you believe in your religion can not be explain with science.

    But believe me, as you believe that the wind is exist, and so as the God. Believe me that our life today is just a beginning not temporary like you said, do you believe that your first life now is the second life and your first life was 9 months in your mother belly? and 3rd life is where you leave your “temporary body”. Being a human is another scenario where you will be able to decided how human you really are, an important part where will you end up “there”.

    *sorry about my english*

  • 荣久翔 said,
    September 4, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    谢谢你啦! yuck yuck

  • September 4, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    hey )
    i’m one of ur theme users (13) hahaha )
    and i was a bit surprised to find this blog )
    heart it

    i was a catholic
    then… i changed the religion to christianity
    somehow along the line i realised that it really doesn’t matter what your religion is.
    it’s all bout the relations between human and God.

    I do believe there is a God out there.
    and the bible said we can see his DNA/ fingerprints by looking at natures.
    thats why since the old days people have been looking for something to worship.
    trees, fire, land, water, wind…

    and yeah.. i don’t see myself as a hater for those non-religious or people that don’t commit to any religion.
    i don’t judge them as bad.
    we’re all human being that born with weaknesses.
    i have heaps of it hahaha blush
    so yeah………
    in the end it comes back to each individual self…

  • Light said,
    September 5, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Again, try to figure out why we are in whatsoever called life for…

  • payday said,
    September 6, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    you have best blog! thank you

  • Foundation One said,
    September 8, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago


    If I copied this entire post and plastered it on my own blog, it would still be 90% true. Like you said, I wish I was wiser, but I guess it’s something you get with age.

    I was born into a Christian family and indoctrinated to believe in Jesus, miracles, the Bible, etc. But as I grew up, I began to realize how much damage faith can do to a community. I began realizing how the faith I was brought up with was really little more than a crutch; a pacifier; an intoxicating concoction meant to whisk one away from the troubles of this world — and I sobered up at the age of 15.

    Sadly, I seem to be the only non-theistic (read: rational) person in my family, in the neighborhood, at my campus, and among my peers; some view me as an immoral crackpot; others flee from me as if I carried a plague; yet others condemn me as Satan incarnate or something — it’s depressing. I can imagine you feel something similar when people ask you about your belief, and upon hearing your reply, you see the funny faces they make (if I’m wrong, sorry — everyone I ever answered gave me a funny face).

    Anyway, I agree with what you say about accepting one’s own mortality (it seems that many people find it insurmountable), and I would like to add that as long as you realize it and act accordingly (i.e., you just have one life, so don’t trash it by doing dumb, useless things like taking drugs, driving drunk, studying theolo.. I mean, studying ID biggrin ), you should be fine.

    From a fellow adventurer in this journey called life: good luck, live long, and prosper! biggrin

    (OK, so I’m a Trekkie — with a capital ‘T’ — so what?) tongue

  • radioman said,
    September 11, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    You Are Beautiful! And thanks for super-sweet wordpress theme!


  • Naj said,
    September 12, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hi, why not continue to write the blog these days?
    Your blog is so excellent same as you. ^.^

    Wait for your update.
    By the way, I used the wordpress theme from you, its very good.

  • Josh said,
    September 14, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Your about page gives an IE 7 error box. Something about there was an error opening the page. The page however happily renders fine behind the error box. As long as you don’t hit ‘Ok’ life is fine and you can go through and read about you. Once you hit ‘Ok’ you get white screened with page cannot be display.

    I have used one of your layouts for my first Mentee’s blog (student of a mentor)

  • September 17, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Great post ) Hope that you write again here soon. I think the most practical reason that I believe in a Higher power is similar to what someone attributed above to the laws thermodynamics, but I would think of it more generally. The intricate engineering of this place could not happen by accident, IMO. Reminds me of Carl Sagan, atheist, who stirred up a bucket containing all the elements of the human body (mostly water) in an episode of his Cosmos series, illustrating how this did not a human make (I’m paraphrasing)

  • September 17, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    – apologies to Carl where ever he is – or isn’t?). Can’t imagine how all of this around us could just form into being by itself. If my car fixed itself in the driveway, that would be much less a miracle than this place and the things in it happening without intelligent design. That said, I have a comment relating to what might be inspiring to a person that doesn’t believe in a Creator. First, I’m not sure if you are married, inclined to get married, etc, etc, but I am, and have two kids, so I can try to comment on marriage/family. I realized recently (probably not an original thought, but anyway…) that I am resurrected in this physical world already. How? Though I die (hopefully not tomorrow though ) , My wife and I are already resurrected in our children. But not simply resurrected, but resurrected as one. Her and I live on together, in oneness, in each child. This is comforting to me. When my kids have kids, we also continue in the grandkids in oneness, and so on, into future generations. I would argue that this design (two marrying and becoming one…) is of God, but even without a belief in God this would make me feel good about my effort in this world. Anyway, hope that you start writing here again. BTW, found your site through a “Designed by..” link at the bottom of kihm.wordpress.com. Take care )

  • September 18, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Having taken you to be wise, since you’ve done something right, since I found your blog, I did not read any of the other comments, only your post.

    I too am at a similar place with religion and beliefs. Someone once gave me the greatest analogy between atheism and not. If you are atheist then you believe ‘there was always something’ whereas if your not, you believe ‘there was nothing and something’. Meaning, those who follow religion genuinely believe that 2 things that cannot exist at the same time did. It is the core of religion. As un-scientific as that is, I understand it. I view god not as a being, or entity, but as ‘the hand of god’. I think there was something, something changed, and out of that the vast nothing began to be something.

    Thus, life is simply the spawn of a ball of energy or cosmic dust that somehow changed. To this end, I guess my beliefs are that we should not neglect our beginnings or hinder the energy of life because that is really all there is.

  • Anonymous said,
    September 18, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

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  • Meg said,
    September 23, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    hmm. I remember when I was about 6 years old my neighbor asked me if I was christian or atheist, not being brought up religious I didn’t know what either of them were! I liked the sound of atheist so I chose that one. I was promptly told I’d be going to hell. Gotta love them Catholics! (Don’t anyone go getting upset, I’m very in love with and married to Catholic for 13 years) Anyway, that set the stage for my religious (or lack of) life. I would now probably say I’m agnostic if I felt a need for a label but since I’m living in the south its better to just keep my little mouth shut when the subject comes up. I used to think people who needed God were weak. I relied on myself, I couldn’t pray for help so I had to do it myself. As I’ve gotten older (and wiser) I no longer believe its a weakness, it gives them a strength. i think I find a similar strength in nature. Sometimes find myself envious of them. I wish I had something to pray to and have my problems solved. I have a very handicapped daughter and would love to have believed some God could help her. Instead its up to me, my husband and her the team of people who help care for and teach her. Sometimes I try to pray but to who? It can leave you feeling very alone. I have sort of chosen to believe in many gods, then I have someone to talk to. I talk to people who have loved us and passed on. I think there must be more. there must be a reason for us being here. More than to create art or care for a child or love another. I believe I’m here to learn something and carry it on until I get life right. Then I like the idea of heaven or some wonderful reward so I’m going to believe in that. One good thing about not having a religion is you are allowed to believe whatever suits you and not feel guilty about it!

  • oyunlar said,
    September 28, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I’m raised as a Buddhist since born but then I learnt other religions as I grew up, being them part of my syllabus in school. I think I’m quite an atheist but then there’s one part of me which believes that some supernatural being is out there. I don’t really bother with religion and such to be really honest with you. Friends are trying to pull me into their religion and all like offering to bring me to church, etc. I think religion is only there as a way to unite the people in the same train of thought or a way to divide between different communities.

  • September 30, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

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  • Justin said,
    September 30, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    I generally don’t comment on posts concerning religious matters, but since you haven’t updated in a while, I guess I’ll weigh in.

    I grew up in the southern United States. Alabama, to be more exact. If you lived there, there’s no question about whether you’re a Christian. The only differences are whether you’re Baptist, Methodist, Pentacostal, or possibly Catholic or Mormon. So, I had to sit through a lot of church services growing up.

    Skip forward a few years. I’m no longer forced to go to church and it’s much easier to see “the light” when you’re not constantly being drilled with your denomination’s interpretation of the Bible. I’ve even took “The Bible as Literature” in college (really cool class, in which you learn how and why the Bible is what it is).

    I suppose I’ve always thought that there is no way of knowing whether there is a God, but it’s only been in the last few years that I’ve come to accept that I can’t know. Part of me feels there’s something “more” out there, but I can’t be sure. I do think that the older I become, the more rational I become.

    The thing I don’t like is organized religion. It forces people to believe in certain ways, and children are practically brainwashed from the time they’re born (Richard Dawkin’s “The God Delusion” has a good view on this). It’s hard to break away from those viewpoints because you’ve been told that those are the right viewpoints your entire life by family, friends, and the community.

    My beliefs don’t give much meaning to my life. I simply try to live my life as a good person, be respectful of all viewpoints on religion, and be happy.

    I want to say that I’m proud of you for stating your views. I’m glad you’ve learned to accept that your life is temporary and have moved on from there. I’m not sure what to call myself. An athiest? An agnostic? I’ve never been much for labels anyway. I’m just a person.

  • paolino said,
    October 2, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    A guy I know once said: if god didn’t exist, it should be invented, and that’s exactly what mankind did ever since.


  • Anne said,
    October 2, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hello, I just came across your blog and read about what you wrote… and I wanted to write about what you asked us to write about.
    You know, I don’t think that my religious beliefes (yes, I do have any) are something that gives meaning to my life or lets me live justly and with virtue. I think the point of religion is not what kind of use it has for you as an individual or for an entire community. I know, that I don’t always treat people justly and I know that, although I’m probably more virtuous than some other people, there are so many more people who life with more virtue than I do.
    I think one has to see the whole situation from a totally different point of view: if there is a God and if he really has created this world and if he really loves each and everyone of us, than this God has to be honoured. If he wouldn’t be honoured, it would be just as foolish as a child having received all the care and love possible from his parents turning its back at them saying “I don”t need them, I can do without them…”
    Now the only question left is: is there a God or isn’t? I would say yes. Just because I’ve heard of so many things other people experienced with God, things that would be very rare coincidents and are almost impossible to be named so.
    I wish to you, that you will always have questions about your life and never stop doubting how things are going, because even if you already believe and think you know how everythings going, if you’re ready for it, you’re always going to be humbled and will find, that in fact you don’t know anything, really.
    God bless you, Annie

  • Dizzy Dee said,
    October 3, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Mmm… this is the kind of topic that has kept me up very late.

    I definitely believe that there is a God, and He is very real in my life.

    Sadly I’m still lacking the wisdom to explain exactly how and why I believe what I do… Maybe one day…

  • Ciara said,
    October 4, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    “Now the only question left is: is there a God or isn’t? I would say yes. Just because I’ve heard of so many things other people experienced with God, things that would be very rare coincidents and are almost impossible to be named so.”
    That statement means a lot to me, what Anne said a little above me.

    When I was younger, I went to a Catholic jr high and got a sick and twisted warped view of God – through their eyes, very “organized religion”. A lot of things they said didn’t make sense, they contradicted THEMSELVES. So I left that place an Agnostic (it seemed very fitting), although floating more-so towards being an Atheist. When I was 16 a lot of horrible, horrible things happened to me and I started believing in God. It’s funny how everything I ever wanted then – someone to just be there for me; someone to love me no matter what happens between us; and if I can’t see them everyday, or if we can’t get into contact everyday, I know that they are thinking about me, praying for me, and will always just BE there if I ever needed them – all those things make up what God is and what the people around me weren’t.

    As I studied more and more about God, all of these things became true and real to me. All the people I’ve talked to who have been through the worse life has to offer, and they only got through it because of God – just like me. I say people need to find out about God and what he is about, not a religion – faith and religion are two very different things. Don’t let two thorns ruin your view of a beautiful rose that is in your reach tongue

  • Bob said,
    October 8, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Hello Becca.

    This was an interesting entry. I have to ask, since one of your statements (”Given the brilliance of life, I don’t wish to taint yours) seems to suggest it, are you a libertarian?

  • marie said,
    October 10, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    i was raised as an athiest and i became a believer in God when i turned 21. im a dutch medicine student, i read richard dawkins book the god delussion, and lol, it turned around the other way for me cause i started believing in God after i read it, awww richard didnt convinced me, anyways i think is a funny story to share. from atheist to a believer(im not religious)

  • Nanda said,
    October 14, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    That was a very interesting story!

    I personally don’t believe in a “god” or a “higher power”. I do believe in spirits, reincarnation and the hereafter, but I don’t believe in those “guides” paranormal people talk about. I am spiritual myself but I don’t do anything with it, because, to be honest, I’m scared of it. I don’t think there’s some kind of god, or higher power, out there. I believe people created these stories to stay strong in hard times, and to have something to have faith in. I respect the people who believe in certain things, and gain strength from them, though.

  • mirasong said,
    October 18, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    HI. I believe in Jesus Christ and a Heavenly Father who loves us. I believe we are here on earth to be tested. We are Heavenly Father’s children and just as we on earth have to eventually leave home and make it on our own, this is our “leaving home”. And if we pass this test, we will get to be Gods and Godesses one day.
    How sad it would be to not believe in anything.

  • mirasong said,
    October 18, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    … cont’d….
    Life cannot be just this, and then it’s over! What about your family? How sad to not be with them anymore! I just cannot even fathom how anyone can be an atheist and be content. There is a quote “There are not coincidences in life.” Everything that happens has a purpose, some we can see if we look. Others, we may not see until this life passes.

    Oh! How my heart aches for you who don’t believe in a God!

  • duuude said,
    October 27, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    yo dude

  • Gerry said,
    October 28, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Young Lady,
    My very being aches for your soul’s future with it’s atheist beliefs. I can tell from your writings that you are worldly intelligent; but You and I still need God in our lives. Surely you know the scripture in John 3:16 in the Bible (KJV) We must be born again, confessing our sins, and allowing God to wash us in the blood of Jesus for the forgiving and cleansing of our sins. Honey, we can’t be wrong on this count because it surely will be an irreparable mistake to reject Jesus, miss heaven and receive eternal hell. Wouldn’t you rather receive the grace and mercy of The Lord by giving him all He wants … and the only thing you really have to offer? You Rebecca….God want you.
    My prayers are for you.

  • October 28, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    […] wish I could say something serious and knowledgeable like when Becca turned 22 but alas, I couldn’t because all I was thinking yesterday was how am I supposed to indulge […]

  • October 30, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    everybody in this blog sux a lot…. fucking retarded emos …… NERDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

  • October 30, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    everybody in this blog sux a lot…. fucking retarded emos …… NERDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

    pd.: A lot of kisses of my asshole to Beccary & retarded friends

  • Saz said,
    November 1, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Just thought I’d let you know, when I load your website my computer pops up a virus alert.

    This is the virus: http://www.symantec.com/security_response/writeup.jsp?docid=2002-101518-4323-99&tabid=1

    Something you might want to check out? :\

  • November 2, 2007 9 years, 140 days ago

    Nice site. Thanks.

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